


Shifting feelings

by Sundowntap



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Betrayal, Coming Out, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Fights, Fist Fights, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Heartbreak, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, coming to terms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:02:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29908419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sundowntap/pseuds/Sundowntap
Summary: Canon divergence at season 2, episode 12.He really wasn’t sure what he was doing, not even having a coherent plan.But it was too late to go back.Reeling himself up higher up the armoured titan, Connie sprinted vertically best he could up its back. Grappling onto the large chunk of armour on his nape, the scout promptly propelled himself onto it.In plain frustration, he began to stab desperately at the lump of armour while trying to not fly off. Of course, it was obvious this would do nothing, he was being a mere nuisance- but fuck if the teen cared at that moment.But he'd soon need to realise he needed to care, as he just made probably the stupidest decision of his life, as the faint specs of the scout regiment began to fade more and more into the distance.What would happen to him, isolated with the very people that betrayed him like no other?
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Reiner Braun/Connie Springer
Comments: 22
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Haha yes I know this is a weird and wild concept, but that's the fun of it!  
> There will be spoilers for basically the whole AOT series, manga included.
> 
> Some simple headcanons that fit nicely into this story (more will be added as the story progresses):  
> -Connie is surprisingly attractive and cute, though he hates being called as such- as it makes him feel smaller than he is  
> -Ymir acts like a sisterly figure to most people she cares about  
> -Marley is lowkey homophobic  
> -Reiner deals with internalized homophobia, and is the reason he convinced himself he liked Historia  
> -Bertholdt frequently has nightmares about Marco

Connie didn’t know what was happening anymore.

Not only had the previous 24 hours torn him apart mentally and emotionally, but it only got weirder.

The titans all suddenly dropped all interests in him and his fellow comrades, instead all rushing towards a seemingly random titan.

They pounced on it like starving beasts; beginning to rip it to shreds with not a moments waste. Connie couldn’t help but ogle the sight; it being as fascinating as it was gnarly and disturbing.

It was so spontaneous, Connie wandered just what triggered them to act so strangely. But fuck if he was complaining- he wasn’t getting eaten.

A set of heavier, more familiar rumbles under his feet forced him to snap his attention off the scene and look up towards Reiner making a move again.

Bastard was still on whatever goal he had his twisted mind on.

Gritting his teeth, the teen squinted as his green eyes followed what he once considered his friends. He still just couldn’t wrap his head around how- _why_ they did it.

What could they possibly benefit from ending humanity? What was their end goal?

And the amount of deaths they’ve caused.

If it weren’t for them, on that heinous day 5 years ago, being the catalyst for the present hell he stands in- none of those innocent people would have been brutally murdered.

Mina, Hannah, Marco, Thomas- _his own mother_ \- turned into just another statistic.

Knuckles whitened as the clasp on his swords tighten, fury bubbling up inside the young scout.

He knew he shouldn’t be fogging up his mind with such thoughts at such a crucial moment- he could wallow in his own pity and anger alone in his bunk when carnage wasn’t all around him.

But he couldn’t help it.

It made him furious to be betrayed as such.

So perhaps that’s why he acted like he did.

Perhaps it was blind rage that made him grapple onto the armoured giant as it passed by, launching himself towards the giant.

Blind rage would make Connie, of all people, to believe he could catch the brute off guard and slice his nape; or capture him- or do _something_.

He really wasn’t sure what he was doing, not even having a coherent plan.

But it was too late to go back.

Reeling himself up higher up the armoured titan, Connie sprinted vertically best he could up its back. Grappling onto the large chunk of armour on his nape, the scout promptly propelled himself onto it.

In plain frustration, he began to stab desperately at the lump of armour while trying to not fly off. Of course, it was obvious this would do nothing, he was being a mere nuisance- but fuck if the teen cared at that moment.

“Connie?!” A raspy, stunned voice yelled out not far from the teen. Connie snapped his head back and glared down at the noirette.

“I can’t believe I ever trusted you!” He spat, continuing to mindlessly gash at the thick material. Bertholdt scowled at the statement, but his attention was torn away when the sound of another stampede erupted from seemingly nowhere.

Both the teens paused as the looked upon their surroundings, gawking down at the titans, who were previously occupied with that one blond titan, whom now began to barrel towards _them._

“W-What the fuck?” Connie gasped, needing to stabilise himself as he could feel the giant he sat on shifting in its own astonishment.

“Shit-“ Bertholdt blurted in terror, drawing his own swords as he eyed the titans that began encasing them.

“What’s- Why are they targeting us?” The scout inquired, a tinge of worry in his voice.

“Eren!” The warrior barked in response, not being able to spit out a full explanation as he began desperately waving his swords at the dangerously close threats.

Connie choked on his breath, pressing himself against the armoured titan’s neck, being overcome by fear. He was looking death in the eyes- and it was for sure this time.

Why had he been so stupid? He could’ve been riding home safely with the rest of the scouts, but he had to play the hero and act impulsively.

And now he was a goner.

His body trembled to the core, staring at the titans crawling and biting closer to him. There was nothing he could do. He couldn’t grapple onto anything to escape, and even if he could- he was sure he would easily get grabbed and munched on the second he tried. Killing the titans was also out of the question, there were just too many too kill- even if him and Bertholdt worked together.

Their only hope as Reiner- but even that wasn’t a good bargain.

The scout had to clutch onto the titan as his life, quite literally, depended on it- Reiner struggling to even stand whilst he was being scaled, let alone fight off the monsters.

A scream from his past teammate peeled the teens attention towards him, gawking at how Bertholdt was mere feet away from a grim, ravenous mouth, helplessly trashing his swords.

“Bertholdt!” Connie called out almost instinctively, voice strained in terror for him. After everything the guy had done, it would be logical if Connie simply laughed at his demise- but he just couldn’t feel like that.

They had shared such wonderful memories together, memories Bertholdt admitted to being genuine even after everything. He still cared for him, as well as Reiner, even if they didn’t deserve any sort of remorse. 

Not that any of that mattered. They were all about to die- so why spend his last moments bitter.

Bertholdt peered back at him, sharing a similar face of dread and panic. The two teens shared a moment of eye contact, a moment of solidarity between the wildly different individuals.

The sweet, short moment was interrupted as a titan plummeted onto Reiner’s shoulder, barely a meter away from the young scout.

It really was the end for him now.

He was too scared to even turn around, to face the monstrous face of the thing that would be his demise. As the titan let out a deafening shriek, Connie almost accepted his fate, staring blankly in front of him whilst holding his breath- anticipating.

“Ymir!?” Bertholdt exclaimed, snapping the teen out of his trance like state. Cranking his head to the side- It really was Ymir!

God, has he ever been so happy to see that ugly face.

Ymir made quick work- snagging the titan that was gnawing at Bertholdt by the face and dislodging it from Reiner, flinging it roughly onto the ground. With another shriek, she pounced on another enclosing titan, digging her teeth into the flesh of its neck.

“You go, Ugly!” Connie cheered, adrenaline pumping through his veins as the feeling of imminent doom was drowned out by a newfound sense of confidence and hope.

Ymir really seemed to be the key in escaping, heavily helping Reiner by taking out the smaller but more aggravating ones. It allowed the armoured titan to pry the larger ones off of himself and fling them into the distance; taking the opportunity to brutally tear one of their heads off.

But of course, it was highly unrealistic to expect them to kill all of them. There were just too many- and they would continue to drag themselves towards armoured titan even with limbs missing.

The ones that were thrown off began to charge back to their objective, the distance quickly closing between them.

Ymir leapt onto Reiner’s shoulder once she had gotten rid of the ones that were the biggest threats. An arm was notably missing on her, hot steam drifting out from the healing wound.

Connie was almost knocked off his feet as the titan he rode started to advance; having eliminated enough titans to be able to get away- but he had to be fast. He was already beginning to be encased by a wall of titans again.

“W-Wait- Shit! I can’t stay here!” The young scout gasped in realisation of just what he had gotten himself into. He’s being taken in the opposite direction of the scouts- _of his home_. God knows how in hell he’d be able to get back to Wall Rose at the very least.

“Sorry, Connie, But we can’t turn back even if we wanted to.” Bertholdt explained in an exhausted breath, peeking past Reiner’s shoulder to see that the titans were hot on their trail.

“Shitshitshitshit..!” Connie swore to himself, hitting his fists into his head in frustration.

“Why would you even think of coming here, when you had a clear chance to get out?” The taller teen queried, loosening his posture as he looked at his former comrade.

“I-I don’t fucking know! I panicked and.. and _fuck_!” The teen let himself slide down the wall behind him that was the armoured titan, sitting down defeatedly as he held his head. Thankfully for the grabbles on his ODM gear, he sat secure, otherwise he would have slid off the giant.

The sound of faint sizzling and more steam streaming from Ymir materialised, as she pushed her upper body through her titan form, but remained mainly inside it for quick converting.

She took a deep breath of air before coughing for a few moments, wiping the titan goo away from her face. Catching her breath, she peered down at the two guys.

“You idiot.” She muttered simply, aiming at Connie. “Didn’t think you’d get any stupider.”

Connie frowned as she spouted unhelpful words at him, but he didn’t expect much else from her. She had always been the brutally honest type.

“Seriously, what the fuck were you thinking, dumbass? That you could take down Reiner by yourself? Do you actually have a death wish?!” Her words grew with volume, continuing.

“I don’t know, okay? I know I’m an idiot so don’t waste your breath telling me!”

“No! This isn’t a simple mistake, Connie! You’re a moron for coming along!” She spouted more; noticeably fiercer than if she was asking fun of him- was she angry? “This is more fucking dangerous than if we dangled you over a pit of abnormals! Titans are the least of your worries right now!”

“What the hell do you mean by that??” The teen’s volume started to match the one of his opponent, tension growing between them. “What, are you going to kill me too?”

“We might fucking have to!” She spat, not caring about how brutal that sounded. Connie gasped softly as he went mute for a moment, not actually considering what he said as a possibility.

“W..what, no- You don’t mean that!” He sputtered, staring desperately at Ymir then at Bertholdt, who had stayed tactfully quiet. “Please don’t tell me you’re serious! Y-You can just leave me at Wall Maria when we pass it!”

“It’s not that simple you idiot!” Ymir disputed, rubbing her finger on her temple.

“Why not?! Bert- Please! We’re still friends, even after everything, you said it yourself! Don’t do this!” Connie begged, gawking down at his former comrade.

Bertholdt bit his lip as he saw the despair in the other’s face- his words, and the whole situation, was too familiar for his liking.

It reminded him way too much of Marco.

He was forever plagued with the image of Marco’s face of anguish and how he writhed painfully as the titan tore into his flesh.

And he didn’t know if he could go through with that again.

“Bertholdt!” Another of Connie’s pleads made Bertholdt stop his reminiscing and think on his feet. Gritting his teeth, he couldn’t stand any more of his begging.

Grappling and reeling himself towards the other teen, Bertholdt grimaced down at him. The younger teen’s eyes widened as his past comrade flew towards him, seemingly ready to end his life.

“Wait- Bertholdt what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Ymir screamed, dropping most of her nonchalant act as the noirette landed onto Connie; Connie’s grapples being the only thing that kept them from rolling off.

“Bert- Bert, c’mon man! Don’t do this!” They began to wrestle, Connie using all the strength he had in attempt to throw him off. But it was useless, Bertholdt easily overpowering him and twisting him into a headlock.

Beginning to squeeze, the warrior squeezed his eyes shut to not have to look at thee smaller teen trashing in his grasp. Crushing tighter, he focused on not listening to anything in his surroundings. Not Connie’s pleads for his life; Not Ymir’s appeals for him to stop until they’ve made a plan; not even his guilty conscious screaming at him.

He only stopped when he could feel the boy slowly stop to move, until his limbs went limp under him and there was nothing but a peep from him.

The brunette ogled the sight below her; the armoured titan too becoming interested. Reiner to turned his head to eye what had just occurred on him. He notably slowed his pace, staring at the scene.

Had Bertholdt really done that?

“Did- did you really fucking kill him?” Ymir finally choked out the words, digging her nails into the meat of her titan form.

“You said yourself we should have!” Bertholdt cried back, his breathing erratic as he tried to come to terms with his nerves.

“But not like this! Fuck, I didn’t even really wanna kill the kid!”

“Relax! He’s not dead!” The noirette snapped, sliding his arms under the scouts body and lifting him up.

“He-… Then what the fuck was that about?!” The freckled girl yelled, in now frustration and embarrassment due to her previous outburst.

“L-Listen! I just.. I just couldn’t listen to him anymore...” Bertholdt sighed, peering down to the unconscious boy with sombre eyes. “He’s fine, though, just knocked out..”

“Fucking hell.. Don’t do stupid shit like that.”

Reiner shifted his view away from the trio, but slowly bought one of his hands up to hover besides them. Bertholdt looked at the enormous hand and took a second to realise what his friend was suggesting.

Fidgeting with the trigger, Bertholdt unlogged Connie’s grapple hooks from Reiner before steadily dropping himself, along with the scout, onto the hand. It was more secure than the titan’s body, not needing to hang on for dear life, so the noirette carefully lay the boy on the palm.

“You coming?” The warrior inquired, glancing back up at Ymir.

“I’m good up here.” She huffed in response, still sat in her titan form from the waist down. But she got lurched forward as Reiner faltered in his footsteps; a 3 meter titan latching itself on one of his ankles.

“Hurry it up, you idiot! The hell’d you slow down for?!” Ymir hollered out to Reiner, gritting her teeth.

The armoured titan took a moment to stomp down the 3 meter titan before obeying, beginning to bound down the clearing.

Bertholdt sat down besides the tranquil scout and peered at him, battling with himself internally.

The mission had already gone to shit, but now it seemed the universe was playing a joke on them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the real Reicon moments start

Ymir skidded along the concrete harshly, slamming her palm onto it to stop her momentum and help her break. She panted heavily as Bertholdt, unfairly, propelled down using his ODM gear and landed with a small stumble, but overall steadily. Over his right shoulder lay a still unconscious scout.

A thunderous blast from behind them accompanied with sparks of electricity and heat signified Reiner’s transformation. He crashed onto the wall harder than Ymir did, tumbling over a couple of times before coming to a halt.

He lay heaving in exhaustion, feebly pushing himself onto his arms and knees. He’d ran non-stop for around an hour- maybe even more, but he couldn’t keep track.

“You think.. They’ll follow?” Pausing to fill his burning lungs after every other word, Reiner inquired.

“No, it’d be too risky. Besides, we would’ve seen if they did by now.” Ymir breathed in response, laying down on her back, splaying her limps outwards.

The tallest of the group nodded in response, crouching, and planting the teen on the bricks rather roughly. Reiner’s eyes flicked upwards and eyed the scout.

“Connie!” Said he, almost in realisation, though having known of the boy’s presence since he landed on him. Pushing himself towards him, he ogled at the unconscious teen, still trying to catch his breath.

“You sure you didn’t kill the kid?” The brunette asked, having an uneasy feeling at how tranquil the boy had been all this time.

“No, No- his pulse is fine.” The noirette huffed in response, settling down besides him companions. On queue, the blond eagerly placed two fingers on the scouts neck; holding his breath in anticipation as he waited for a sensation.

He let a sigh of relief as his pulse was in fact fine- Connie was fine.

With the new revelation to settle his nerves, the warrior ran a hand through his sweat-drenched hair in frustration.

“Fuck, Connie.. Why did you have to be here..” He wasn’t speaking directly to the teen, whom was obviously not registering, but rather to himself. Connie’s presence had just made things more difficult than they already were, and Reiner didn’t even know how to start approaching it.

“So.. What _are_ we going to do?” Ymir quietly questioned, leaning up on her arms.

“We don’t.. have to… actually kill him, right..?” Reiner swallowed, gazing at Ymir with an expression she could only describe as pitiable.

“..Should I have actually done it, back there?” Bertholdt whispered, avoiding eye contact with either of his comrades and instead focusing on Springer.

“No! No.. I-I’m just saying, there must be another solution to this. This is different from.. last time.” The noirette grimaced at the event he was insinuating but hummed in agreement.

With Marco, they killed him out of necessity.

They couldn’t count on him keeping such a world breaking secret, one that could ruin their whole mission.

But with Connie- There were no stakes with him. Paradis had now found out, due to Reiner’s own stupid eagerness, so there was no risk there. Moreover, Connie was anything but a threat- as much spunk as the kid had, he wouldn’t be able to take Bertholdt down even if he had his two arms missing.

“So we’ll keep him alive for now.” The freckled girl stated simply, earning a keen nod from the blond. “We can think of details later. I’m beat, starving and cold.”

The tallest nodded with a polite smile, fidgeting with the straps on his ODM gear.

“Why don’t you get your pretty little ass up and find us some food and firewood?” She instructed rather than asked, wearing a giddy grin.

“I can’t protect myself without destroying half the forest, so you better come with me.” The noirette resorted, though not maliciously.

“Taw, does the big boy need a bodyguard?” She teased, but she pulled herself up, stretching her arms above her head. Lowering her hand to offer it to her companion, Bertholdt took the offer and pulled himself up.

“You uh.. can stay here; rest or whatever.” Ymir suggested, peering down at Reiner who had been occupied with the unconscious scout. The blond nodded slowly but did not lift his head to meet her eyes.

Bidding their farewell, the pair composed themselves before stepping to the edge of Wall Maria. Ymir wrapped her arms around the other’s shoulders, whilst trying to keep limited amount of contact at same time.

And so they were off, reeling themselves down the wall to scavenge for materials for their impulsive camp.

This left Reiner, sat silently besides the scout. 

He spent a few minutes simply staring down at the teen, a lot going through his mind.

Though he had checked his pulse and made sure of his well health- it still worried the warrior at how long Connie had been knocked out.

The more he looked at him, the more it pained him that he had to be stuck in this situation.

Why did it have to be Connie of all people?

Hesitantly, the blond gingerly caressed the other’s cheek with his index finger. The smaller boy’s cheek twitched in reaction; a light sparking in Reiner’s eyes.

Sliding his hand down to the scout’s shoulder, he gently shook him.

To his pleasant surprise- He stirred in his slumber.

Shaking him more firmly, Reiner watched as Connie slowly turned his head and mumbled incoherently, slowly regaining consciousness.

Sluggishly, the teen’s eyelids opened. His eyebrows furrowed as his eyes adjusted to the light and the images in front of him, letting out a small groan.

Reiner smiled in contentment as well as nervousness, unsure of what the teen was thinking as he continued to stare at him with a perplexed expression.

“..Reiner..” Connie eventually spoke, though it barely came out a whisper. The blond nodded and was about to respond when the scout seemingly put the pieces together. “Reiner!”

“How.. do you feel?” The mentioned teen croaked after a moment, his companion’s eyes burning holes into him.

“Im-.. alive?” The younger teen muttered, mostly to himself, his hands patting around his face and neck as if he needed physical proof of his statement.

Reiner nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line as he wanted to speak but was not exactly sure how to continue.

An awkward veil of silence fell on the pair.

Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Connie’s large eyes moved away from Reiner and radically scoured his surroundings.

“Where am I?” He practically demanded.

“I think you should take it easy-” The older teen unsuccessfully attempted to calm the other.

“Drop the caring act and tell me what wall we’re on.” The scout frowned, abruptly standing up- however faltering as the blood rushed through his body.

“Wall Maria,” The warrior sighed, wanting to keep arguing at a minimum. “Listen, I know you have many questions but-”

“Fuck, I have to travel for ages- In the dark no less!” He stepped towards the inner edge of the wall he stood on, looking at the sun that had almost disappeared into the horizon.

“What? Connie you can’t leave.” Pushing himself up, Reiner hurriedly followed the scout.

“I’m not staying around for you to find a way to dispose of me.” He scoffed, pulling away as Reiner lay a hand on his shoulder.

“Connie, I know this is stressful, but try to hear me out-”

“No.”

“I really don’t want to argue with you right now.” He stepped closer, only for Connie to yank his hand off himself.

“We don’t have to argue if you let me go.”

“I’m trying to tell you that you _can’t_!” The blond rubbed his temples with his right hand in frustration; the other teen taking a stride nearer to the edge, his heels the only thing on the wall.

“Why not? Do your people, if I can even call you that, need their victims alive?”

“Vic- What? What are you on about now?”

“I don’t know! But I’m not sticking around to find out!” The young scout gripped the triggers of his grappling hooks, ready to propel himself into the darkness.

He crouched and almost dove down the enormous wall, if Reiner had not wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him back.

“We aren’t going to kill you! Stop being careless and listen to me!” The warrior barked, holding onto the scout no matter how much he shoved and squirmed in his grasp.

“I have no reason to believe you! Now let me go!” The teen writhed and tried to pry the other’s arms off him, not believing a word he said- why would he?

“You idiot- You’ll run out of gas before you get anywhere near Wall Rose and you’ll get eaten in no time! _Think_!” Exhaling sharply in annoyance, the warrior adjusted his stance and easily lifted the other- his feet more than a foot off the ground.

Connie squeaked in surprise and tried to kick and squirm even in this predicament- but Reiner was barely affected and obviously had the upper hand.

“Connie, please. Hear me out before you do anything stupid,” Reiner sighed, holding onto the other with a firm grip.

“Not like I really have a choice.” Connie scorned, his struggling subduing as he realised how little he actually was compared to his past comrade.

“We’re not going to kill you. If we wanted to, we would’ve fed you to a titan by now. Does that make sense?”  
“Mmm, I guess.” He muttered in response, considering his words.

“And don’t be stupid and impulsive like the very reason you ended up here. You won’t survive alone out there.” Connie cringed at the mention of just exactly how he got there- cause it was true, his own idiocy got him in this mess.

Begrudgingly, he nodded as his struggles stopped completely.

“I’m glad you understand.” The blond sighed in content and habitually rested his head on the scouts back. Connie would be alright with this, if this was back not two days ago when he didn’t know the horrendous truth about what he thought was his friend.

“Ok, whatever, now put me down.” He instructed as coldly as he could, pushing on the arms around his waist again.

The warrior obeyed and plopped the smaller boy down on his feet. The scout brushed himself as if he was brushing away dirt, mumbling discontentment under his breath. Reiner peered down him, picking up on a few swears and insults.

“So where’s Bert and Ymir? Or did you kill them instead.” Connie huffed, crossing his arms.

“They’re getting supplies- Now can you drop the killing thing?”

“Oh I’m sorry, Mr Armoured Titan. Was Shiganshina not a big enough event to profile you?” The scout scorned; his words lined with animosity. The blond squeezed his fists tightly, his eyebrows furrowing in lament.

“I.. Know it’s something I can’t be forgiven for.”

“Damn right.”

“But you have to understand I had no choice.”

“Ehh? No choice? That’s probably the worse excuse to having killed hundreds of innocent people.” He squinted in detest, looking the interrogated victim in the eye.

“I mean It!.. You are… I had to.. There was no other choice!” The warrior almost pleaded, his defences not coherent as even his guilt went against any reason.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about,” The younger of the pair said flatly, but his fingers dug into his arms as anger stirred inside him. “Frankly, I don’t even know if I wanna hear your pathetic reasoning.”

“Please, Connie- Let this be the last favour I ask you: Listen to what I have to say.”

“Why should I? You’ve lied about everything else, Reiner- Fuck, if that’s even your real name.” The blond swallowed forcefully and took a moment to collect his thoughts, avoiding the other’s bitter eyes.

“My name is Reiner Braun, that is true; as well as my age and my interests and hobbies.” He admitted slowly, forcing himself to make eye contact with his companion to prove his honesty. “And my fondness of you and feelings we shared.”

Connie noted of his odd phrasing, but nevertheless looked at the other with suspicion.

“And that’s everything that’s true?” The other nodded. “Then why was everything else a lie?”

“You.. Want the full story, don’t you?”

“Well, duh. I wanna know what’s reasonable in your fucked up brain to excuse what you did.”

Reiner sighed heavily, running his hand through his short, light hair. He guessed he had no other choice- it wasn’t as if telling him would affect anything, and if he was honest, he wanted someone to understand _why_ he was on such a mission.

“It’s.. A long one, so you mind getting comfortable?” Kneeling down, he sat down and gestured for Connie to do the same. The scout took a moment of consideration, before joining his past comrade- letting his legs dangle off the ledge of the wall.

“Go on.” He huffed, crossing his arms more.

“My name is Reiner Braun, as you know, and I am a… a warrior from Marley.” He said dryly, looking at his hands that held each other on his legs.

“Marley?” Connie inquired curiously.

“A place beyond the walls, far away from here.”

“..There’s… There’s places beyond the walls?” The scouts arms slacked from their firm positioning, being drawn into the others words in wonder.

“Yes. There are many.”

“So.. We _aren’t_ the last of humanity?” His mouth fell slightly agape, the information being a huge revelation for the boy.

“Course not. I wouldn’t-.. _We_ wouldn’t have tried to break down the walls if you were. It’d be illogical.”

“Then.. why _did_ you try break the walls down?” He spoke slowly, still having his brain frazzled by the discovery.

“Well, the mission started to get the founding titan back, but it was more or less just an excuse to.. get rid you all.” His mouth was dry as he forced out the words.

“Hold on- We didn’t even know there was an outside world. Why does this ‘Marley’ place want us dead so badly?”

“Because.. Because.. You’re devils..” Reiner bore a conflicted, almost pained expression as he confessed.

“Heh?”

“You’re.. a race of devils, born evil and need to be eliminated for peace to come to Marley.” The blond’s words were almost narrated, as if he had rehearsed the statement hundreds of times.

Connie blinked in pure astonishment.

“…Hehhh? Maybe you hit your head or something, cause you’re not making sense.” The scout bantered, scratching his chin in thought.

“No, It’s true- you oppressed and abandoned Marleyans.”

“You’ve been here long enough to know humanity- I mean, people inside the walls? Have been in and only know the walls. We don’t even know what a ‘Marley’ is.” Connie challenged.

“It happened before your people cowardly hid behind the walls; Karl Fritz made the walls a century ago with thousands of Colossals after running here with his people.”

“That’s how the walls were made...” The younger boy looked in wonder at his companion, sucked into the history of his home that he’d never heard before.

Reiner nodded shortly but held his attention to his hands, not being able to bare a look at the other.

“But hold on- If It was something that happened that long ago, what does that have to do with us?”

“You’re.. still Eldians; Born evil and need to suffer.” He repeated.

“Suffer for what? Existing?” The shorter boy objected, wearing a look of disbelief and almost disgust.

“I’m… I know it sounds horrible..”

“Because it is! It doesn’t matter what my ancestors did, it has nothing to do with me or the innocent people you massacred.”

“I’m sorry..”

“No, no! Look at me and tell me if I’m really such a devil.” Connie ordered, turning his torso to face the older boy.

The warrior shook his head, biting his lip as he did not want to face more of his doubts about something that had been hammered into his head since birth.

“Reiner.” The scout grew impatient.

The blond shut his eyes in defiance- rather childish if the situation weren’t so strained.

“ _Reiner_.” Having enough, he took his companions face into his hands and turned his head to face him. Reiner opened his eyes in surprise, and now he couldn’t evade looking at the devil.

“Do I look evil to you?” The teen held intense eye contact with the other, not allowing him to dodge the question.

“I..” Reiner swallowed, the dryness in his throat becoming unbearable and he continued to gawk at the boy that held his face.

Connie didn’t look the slightest bit like a devil; the teen having a round, symmetrical face with velvety smooth skin and apples of his cheeks coloured the softest shade of red.

His eyes resembling the hue of young shrubbery in the strong rays of an autumn’s sundown; facial features, much alike to everything else on the boy, were petite but sculpted sharply and beautifully.

Even with his eyebrows downturned in a face of sternness, there was minimal amount of hate present- his expression better described as endearing.

His buzz cut made it so none of his charm was hidden; said hairstyle suiting the boy well and was surprisingly pleasant to the touch.

Overall, though the teen could be intimidating when desired- he was the furthest away from looking _evil_.

“No.. No you don’t.”

“See? Even you admit it.”

“But that’s _you_ \- You’re a good person, better than some Marleyans!”

“So I’m suddenly your favourite?” Connie scoffed teasingly.

“Well, yes- I mean no- I mean-” Reiner inhale deeply, filling his lungs with fresh air as he felt himself start to lose it again.

Reaching up gradually, he placed his own hands on the ones cupping his cheeks. The young scout analysed his movements and exhaled sharply at the contact in coyness, but nevertheless didn’t object.

“It pains me, to know some good souls, like yourself, have to suffer with being born Eldian..”

“I wasn’t suffering until you came along. None of us were.”

“Understand it was out of necessity..”

“I still don’t understand why you just _had_ to do what you did. Could Marley not leave us be? We have enough problems with titans as it is.” The statement made Reiner’s face scrunch in torment, signifying he had something to say. “What?”

“Titans.. well… In simple, Marley.. brings prisoners and other criminals here, to Paradis, for a fate worse than execution.”

“Go on?”

“They titanise them, and let them lose… It’s how titans keep appearing, even though they can’t reproduce.”

“..Titanise?” The scout echoed, widening his eyes in bewilderment.

Reiner nodded in affirmation and waited for another question, or even a comment- but Connie stayed mute.

Eerily silent moments stretched, the warrior unsure of what had occurred to set off this reaction.

That’s when it hit him- what he’d practically confessed.

_Titanising people was possible_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue heavy, but definitely not the heaviest one to come.
> 
> And question!! Thoughts on developing this fic to be R-rated (nudity, NSFW stuff, all that jazz)? As I've stated before, I'm working on this as I go so I have no definite plan and wanna know what suits best


	3. Chapter 3

Connie continued to stare; mouth slightly agape with his breathing becoming shallow. He could feel his increasingly rapid heartbeat in his ears, a wash of coldness running over him.

“You..” He slowly staggered shakily, yet to blink. “You- you called me crazy for suggesting the very fucking idea!”

“I.. I couldn’t confirm your theory without revealing who we were.” Reiner divulged, choosing his words carefully, conscious of the other’s feelings.

“..So that was- That _was_ my mother?”

“Unfortunately..” The blond averted his eyes for a moment, the torment in his companion’s face tearing into his heart like ragged daggers.

“What the fuck did you do?!” The scout shrieked; his voice broken with his throat tightening. Tearing his hands away from the others face, he clutched the warrior’s shirt collar and roughly yanked him forwards. The grip on the shirt was tight; knuckles paper white whilst his fists quivered in anger. The amount of sheer rage he felt was unexplainable- his family and friends were all _gone._

“I had nothing to do with Ragako, I promise!” The blond professed with a gulp- vicious, green eyes beaming right into his soul with an unforgiving scowl- this being one of those moments the scout made him legitimately uneasy.

“ ** _Liar!_** ” He bellowed an almost snarl, jerking the older teen closer. His eyes stung, tears already pooling inside them and dangerously close to spilling- and if it weren’t for fury controlling his actions, he would have broken down by now.

“Remember that me and Bertholdt were with the scouts all along! Even in Utgard Castle!” The warrior remarked honestly, gently taking the scout by the wrists in attempt to ease his hands off himself.

“Then who? _Who goddammit?!”_ Connie retaliated by shaking his former comrade, the floodgates not holding anymore as hot tears began travelling down his flushed cheeks.

“..Zeke; another warrior that came here because we were taking too long.” Reiner pressed his lips together, guilt and remorse eating him from the inside out.

“Who the fuck—” Choking on his breath, the angered teen shook his head as he prioritised the information he needed. “ ** _Is there a cure?_** ”

The warrior held his breath as his body tensed at the question, silently staring back. He knew he couldn’t stomach disclosing the answer to that question; even the slightest bit of hope in the scout’s face hurting him immensely.

“Reiner, _please_!” His demands formed into pleads, his hands trembling on the grip of the collar.

“No.. There’s.. no cure, besides eating a titan shifter..”

That was the breaking point.

The warrior could practically _see_ the scout’s whole world break.

The scowl was gone; his face dropping into a numb daze.

His once lively eyes were now glazed over, staring endlessly at the face who’d disclosed the cruel truth. Even so, hot waterfalls streamed down his dumbfounded face.

His breath had ceased completely, now being held subconsciously as the shock affected his physically self.

The hands that gripped the other’s shirt slacked, but shook perhaps harder than before.

Slowly, and very unsteadily, his hands came down to hover in front of him. The piercing gaze finally left the blond, faltering to his trembling hands.

And he just stared.

The silence was uncomfortably eery.

Reiner wasn’t sure how to even approach this.

Of course, he felt _horrible_ \- Hell, words couldn’t describe how fucking awful he felt.

The expression held by the younger boy made It simple to tell he was in deep inner turmoil. Denial, perhaps- or simply processing.

“They’re… They’re all gone..” The scout murmured, the silence ending as the concept of everyone he knew and loved were gone for good, finally clicking in his head.

“I-I’m sorry; I really am..” The older teen whispered sympathetically in attempt to comfort. He never was particularly good with feelings, especially the approach of comforting another person.

But how would you manage comforting a person who lost their whole village? _Their whole family?_

“Hah..” Connie huffed a short laugh, a twisted smile appearing on his face momentarily.

Reiner furrowed his eyebrows in further concern, confusion too, he was about to speak again before the scout’s face morphed again.

He bit his quivering lip sorely, taking a hiccup of an inhale as misery and grief came over him. His hands clenched into tight fists, squeezing his eyes shut as a pained sob finally escaped his mouth.

“They’re- They’re gone!...” He wailed, choking on his words.

He pressed his fists to his burning head in agony. His breathing quickly became erratic from his sudden breakdown, unrestrained emotions spilling out of him.

The warrior’s eyes grew with pain as he witnessed the scene. He wished he hadn’t told him anything- but at the same time, he deserved to know.

Even so, it was a dreadful image.

Connie’s pained wheeps and strained sobs shook the blond to the core.

_He felt so bad._

He would have never imagined he’d feel so, _so_ remorseful for a random Eldian- enough so to give anything to be able to give his family back.

How was a devil so human?

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Reiner chose not to use his words as it was perhaps his worst skill in this situation. Cautiously, he wrapped his large arm around the smaller boy who, surprisingly, didn’t refuse.

The teen was too broken to care at the moment- and in all honestly, he craved _any_ kind of contact.

Noting how he hadn’t declined; the warrior drew the scout closer until their upper bodies were flush together.

The scout leaned firmly into the touch, resting mostly on the other’s hefty bust.

He hated him at the moment, he really did- but this feeling was so familiar, so _comfortable_.

There were a few moments alike these back inside the walls, though they held much less emotional weight than present time.

Reiner, being bad with words since childhood, held the younger teen whenever they’d been through something. Commonly, it was Connie that needed the silent support- but there were a handful of moments the blond had desired it.

It was their little coping thing.

It wasn’t weird; in fact, the weirdest part was the fact Reiner let anyone hug him. They’d never do it in public, of course- both (but mostly Reiner) having too much pride to admit to such moments of sensitivity.

Nevertheless, the young scout needed a nice, nostalgic feeling after that bombshell of truth.

Stroking his back gingerly, the warrior felt how badly he tremored under his palm. Each breath shook his body worse than the previous one, the quivering itself not helping. His fists have moved to press into his aching eyes, a range of wild emotions fighting inside of him.

“I-I..” The scout cried, unable to form any sort of coherent sentence in his current state.

“I know..” The blond comforted, his voice unusually sickly sweet if It had been compared to his normal one.

“Why!..” His wails were shaky, akin to his whole self.

The warrior only pressed him closer to himself, his other hand placed caringly on the others knee. Connie burrowed his face into is broad chest as he ultimately gave up trying to talk, the counter not having a passing thought about dirtying his shirt.

There was a faint glisten in the blond’s eyes, as he heavy-heartedly gazed down at the sobbing mess of what he still considered a dear friend.

It went on as such for over a half an hour- his agonising breakdown.

The scouts sobbing started to bubble down, being replaced by meek, raspy weeps and gasps.

He’d grown tired; his tears drying up and his voice becoming hoarse from the crying.

The warrior stayed relatively quiet, allowing him to pour out his heart. It was a necessary step to healing; he knew that much. But he had stayed with him all that time, soothingly stroking his head and back.

Sniffling, the younger of the pair took a deep inhale as he tried to calm his breathing.

“Reiner..” He whimpered weakly, the warrior peering down at him in acknowledgment. “You.. Promise you had.. nothing to do with it..?”

“I promise on my life… You can ask Bertholdt if you wish.” The blond spoke in a soft tone, squeezing the other gently as a form of reassurance. The scout hummed in response, repressing lingering hiccups.

“..Are you alright now..?” Stupid question.

“..No..”

“Ah, of course.. Sorry..” The blond internally punched himself- of course he wouldn’t get over his family’s death so quickly.

Begrudgingly, the scout pushed himself up and off his companion whilst his sombre gaze remained downturned. He nodded in acknowledgement, taking in yet another inhale.

“I, um.. I’m also sorry you had to find out like this..” It was awkward, but Reiner wanted the other to at least know he was truly sorrowful himself.

The scout slowly peered up at the warrior, eyeing him for a moment.

“Yeah well… at least you were honest this time..”

“Y-Yes, but..” Reiner took a moment of thought before looking eagerly back at his counterpart.

“I’ll promise to you right now that I’ll be honest to you from now on, even the smallest details. And-And I’ll make sure to protect you, to keep you safe for as long as you’re in this shitty situation.”

Connie blinked at the outburst of seemingly random statements, awkwardly glancing to the side as he pondered on the vows.

“Those are some hefty promises that came out of nowhere..” He murmured softly, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

“Hah.. Perhaps, but.. It’s the least I can do to make it up to you.” Reiner promised the statements on a whim, attempting to drown out his guilt- but nonetheless, he meant all of them.

“For an Eldian?”

“...I’m sure you can be saved, you’re a good guy.”

The scout peered at him sceptically, disliking his phrasing. He didn’t need to be saved, and he wasn’t exactly sure why he still had that stupid idea in his head.

“Mmm.. Sure, whatever… Thanks.” Even so, he was too emotionally exhausted to debate the topic.

“And uh… if you need any helpful support, Bertholdt and Ymir both don’t have parents- if you wanna confide in them.”

The young scout nodded again, slowly wiping the lingering tears away from his puffy eyes. For a few seconds, he just gazed down the wall and onto the environment below, taking a breather. He considered his situation whilst trying to push his village revelation to the back of his head.

Sighing softly, now able to breathe normally, he peered back at Reiner.

“Even though you don’t deserve it.. Thank you, for that..”

“Least I can do.. It was nostalgic.” The blond smiled in attempts to lighten up the mood.

“Yeah… It was nice.” Connie wore a less prominent, sombre smile- but a smile no less, letting his gaze drop back onto the darkened scenery below. “I’m not apologising for your shirt, though.”

The warrior widened his smile ever so slightly, glancing down at his now dampened shirt.

He was glad that their spark- whatever their spark truly meant- was still somewhat there, even after everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ymir and Bertoto will be back next chapter don't you worry
> 
> also Reiner mommy milkers

**Author's Note:**

> Remember, this is all in good fun! Don't chastise me <3
> 
> I would love to hear any theories or suggestions, as I am making this up as I go, so please drop any!


End file.
